Nancy Pelosi is now an vocal exponent of H.R. 4191, the “Let Wall Street Pay for the Restoration of Main Street Act of 2009.” (This makes me pine for Orwellian naming templates. If they titled this bill, “The Freedom and Security for the American Financial System Act,” at least I could delude myself into thinking that its true purpose was obfuscated to the average nightly news watcher, rather than being an unmistakable deference to mob opinion.)

The following is a reasonably accurate summary of the bill:

The U.S. Government’s fiscal situation is FUBAR. For foreseeable and unforeseeable reasons, the deficit is now a leviathan. For the sake of expediency, it is best to go with the tried-and-true Democratic narrative that places all of the blame squarely on the shoulders of the evil Wall Street fat cats. (This narrative is mostly a pastiche of Scrooge McDuck. The government has an odd tendency to use cartoon ducks to sway popular opinion.) Since Main Street’s unemployment has persisted while Wall Street’s profits have returned, the best course of action is to use fervid populist opinion, to take money from the ostensibly stable and wealthy Wall Street firms and redistribute it to the unstable industries that would obviously be irreparably damaged if not for the infusion of money.

Since the political actors are perennial fans of war analogies, I’ll make one of my own: H.R. 4191 is similar to a situation in which there are 5 wounded soldiers and one unharmed soldier left on a battlefield. Upon reviewing the situation, the feckless medic who has just entered the fray realizes that these soldiers will need blood transfusions. The medic proceeds to shoot the unharmed shoulder in the thigh, allowing the blood to messily drain into a pan to be given to his comrades. This is hyperbole; it is also not far from the truth.

Irrespective of the fact that the Wall Street firms are far from healthy — they may be making large profits but they are still exposed to some terrific risks — a cursory glance at the numbers using basic arithmetic, would suggest that Wall Street is not likely to be the one bearing the costs of such a tax raise. (Basic arithmetic is probably above the botox battered brain of Nancy Pelosi.) I am not talking about the pedestrian argument that suggests the tax would be passed on to consumers. I am referring to a more damning flaw: no market maker could pay this tax.

Take, for example, the 25 basis point tax on plain old stock transactions. Looking at Yahoo Finance right now, I see the bid-ask on SPY is 111.20/111.21. Market makers looking to make a few pennies on every transaction might have difficulty staying in the black with a 25 basis point tax per transaction. (I was unable to ascertain whether the tax is levied once per side or once per round-trip; For a conservative estimate, I’ll assume it is only levied once per round-trip). This would mean the market maker could only profit on swings of at least 28 cents if he was hoping to avoid bankruptcy.

(Ironically, some of the proponents of this bill were touting it as a structural method of reducing volatility! They argue that with a tax, there are incentives to hold positions longer. That may be true for marginal day traders. However, market makers would have to significantly widen spreads in order to survive. Wide spreads translate into higher volatility.)

Since market makers are integral elements of markets, it seems likely that they would be exempt from this tax. While the tea-party crowd loves to shout that the “Progressives” are socialist wolves in sheep’s garb who are looking for any and every way to demolish capitalism, I’m not so conspiracy-minded. Progressive Congressmen and Congresswomen would be forced to exempt market makers in order to maintain market integrity. At which point the absurdity of the bill comes into sharp focus: the bill that would force Wall Street to “contribute” to the economic recovery would…EXEMPT WALL STREET?!

P.S. I appologize for the discordant feel to this post. I am a bit peeved by this bill and could not proceed stoically. I have spent the past 9 years of my life learning about markets so that I could be a competitive trader. This bill would render 9 years of sacrifice (lower grades in college; no traditional forms of employment to build my credentials; less time with friends and family) wasted for arbitrary reasons. I suppose this is true for most congressional edicts.